Do this today, Thank yourself tomorrow

So many amazing things have been manifesting for me this year, it's hard to pick the one I'm happiest about. My modeling is right up there with getting my own apartment, but it's special, because it's something I'm doing purely for myself. I haven't even had a paid shoot (YET!) but I'm still extremely proud that I've been following this little passion of mine and actually being pretty successful at it.

 

My first photoshoot was when I was 17, and as you can see, I was everything a 17 year old should be - messy and rebellious. Yes, that's a mohawk, albeit a very poorly put together one. It had been months since I'd put my hair up so it had grown too long to stand. But I loved it, and I was so excited for the pictures. For some reason though, it took years to go and try modeling again!

 

Now this is completely different from that last one! As it should be, being about four years apart. This is from my most recent shoot, which I did with the amazing Mr. Donigan and the Pinup Bombshelter in Denver. I seriously wish I could do this for a living. Being a regular model for a company like Pinup Girl Clothing would be my dream come true. This year I've done a few shoots but this was my first vintage one, and my favorite. Daily, I don't really have the time anymore to curl my hair like this, but I do whenever I get the chance, and the last several years I've really fallen in love with everything 50's. My goth-punk days are definitely behind me and I've heard that Rockabilly is where old goths go to die ;)

So I had a little break while I moved, but now I'm working on another shoot. Right now I don't really care if it's not paid since I'm just enjoying the experience, networking, and trying to gain a bit of an audience. But hopefully one day this might actually become something more! My idols like Dita Von Teese show that not all successful models need to be in Vogue or runways, even though that's where she's ended up.

When my son had just been born I was very depressed that I wasn't achieving these kinds of things. But he's barely a year and a half (what?! Already one and a half!?) and look what I've accomplished! I had to get rid of some negative influence in my life (guess who) and since that time I have absolutely blossomed into much of the person I want to be some day; into who I've always wanted to be.

Find whatever is holding you back and get rid of it! You'll thank yourself later ;) and you might thank me too, hehe.

Love, goodnight,
Lily

I'm back!

As my last post suggested, yes, I took a biiig hiatus. And a lot has changed since then! To avoid further confusion, here's the basics -

• Julian is 1 1/2 years old now, walking and even talking! Expect to see more of that soon ;)
• On October 2nd I moved into my own apartment, and I couldn't be more excited! I will be writing lots of decorating, DIY and food posts once I get settled in. 
• I've changed a LOT about my appearance, and I couldn't be happier or more comfortable in my own skin. I dyed my hair, re-gauged my ears (they were like 00's in highschool), and have two tattoos now. This year is apparently an enormous time for change in my life but I haven't been this happy in years! 
• I've re-focused on modeling and have completed several photo shoots this year. They just keep getting better and better! You should definitely check me out on Facebook or Instagram (lilyaurora9) to support my art :) I would greatly appreciate it!!! 
• Julian's father and I split up. Yes, that's it, and that's all I'm going to say on it.
• I do have a new boyfriend, my longtime friend, Seb. And again, that's pretty much all I'm going to say about it.
• Overall I've been working my ass off but still managing to stay positive and pursue my other goals, and I plan on writing extensively on how I manage to stay sane (well, at least pretend that I am).

I've spent three nights in my new apartment so far. I absolutely love it! The inside is so cute and the neighborhood is great too. It's still a huge mess, but here are a few spots I've got set up so far:

 This is just a little shelf with my little doo-dads, and a bit of an altar to keep me grounded :) The Lucky Cat and jade Buddha were birthday gifts from my man. Everything else is a mix of gifts and random stuff from the thrift store or made by me.

 I don't have space for a coffee maker so I got this french press from Ikea. I bought this tea kettle from the thrift store, and got another second hand (not pictured). Both of these mugs were also second hand :) I was really lucky and haven't actually bought very much because I know so many generous folks!

 A little art for my wall: A puzzle, Julian, flowers, and my Grandmother when she was younger, and a poster blown up from my own painting from high school.

This is seriously how much counter space I have :/ There's a bar across from this, but it has plants and some other stuff, not really the size for appliances. I covered half of the stove tops, put my dish rack in the left hand sink, and had to place my microwave sideways to fit it in. It works but I definitely need to be careful in my organization. Each side is barely a foot wide.

I really want to get back into posting regularly, and posting thoughtful, helpful ideas instead of just journaling. The more I get settled here the easier that will be!

Thanks for reading,
Lily

Blog Hiatus - Creating a New Purpose

Since it's the new year I had wanted to do a "2013 Review" kind of thing, but I'm honestly sick of that shit. When I first started blogging, I had no intention of it being diary-like at all. I don't believe anyone really cares about what I did this week, and the people who do can actually call me on the phone to talk about it. I've never even been huge on keeping a secret diary, so why would I write my hum-drum goings-on for all the world to see (or ignore)?

So somewhere along the line between posts about crafts and posts about being a mom, I lost track of that idea I had. So I'm taking a break to get myself and my thoughts back on track. And no... this was NOT a New Years resolution! It's just naturally a time for new beginnings...

This started when I was browsing Lifehacker, and stumbled upon this holy-grail post: How Can I Write a Successful Blog and Get More People to Read It? 

One idea from this article caught my eye: Can you come up with 52 post ideas, one for each week of the year? After focusing on the topic and purpose of my blog (Hello, 9th grade English), I was able to churn out about 20 in probably 5 minutes. I was actually excited. I still am! All I want to do now is write this all out because my head is overflowing... but I have to put Julian down for a nap :(

Basically, it still revolves around what I've been writing about: Julian, and my new life as a mom. Just with much more purpose and a lot less "So, today I..."

I've been lucky as a young mom. Both sides of our family were happy and supportive since day one of my pregnancy. Renato and I both have good jobs, we have lots of great friends and family who help babysit Julian, and he is about as easygoing as a little boy can be. But there are still struggles with judgement from older moms and childless teenage peers, struggles with holding onto my youth, and struggles to remain positive with an uncertain future. 

I want to reach out and create (or join) a community of young moms, who refuse to conform to either the "lame mom" or "idiot teen mom" stereotypes, and are proud of their families and their role as a mother. I've seen a lot of mommy blogs that are written by well-to-do, 30 something stay at home moms. There are even some goth moms blogging out there, like the amazing Adora BatBrat. But there's not really anything aimed out there to encourage and inspire bad ass young moms... who are dealing with a lot of responsibility in an already hard time in their lives, and really need it.

I could keep writing all day, but this is already insanely long and -gasp- there's no pictures to look at! So I will end here and leave you with this:

 

 
Cool parents make cool babies. 

Lily