Julian's First Trip, pt. 1

I just got back from Texas yesterday, and I'm already missing my family and Austin, especially the weather. Surprisingly, the weather here is actually 20 degrees hotter, which is really unusual, but Austin was a nice retreat from the heat. Seeing my family and how much they love Julian warmed my heart and made me so proud. I was able to see him from a very different way since everyone else was playing "Pass the Baby" the whole time. I didn't take a lot of pictures myself but hopefully soon I will be able to get a copy of the 100+ that my sister took!

 This tiny baby had the whole bed to himself for naps, plus he got to share with me at night! 

 When I came back after he woke up, I found that dog knocked off onto the floor.

I was nervous to fly with Julian for our first time, but as always, he was great. On both flights there were other babies crying, but Julian slept almost the entire time. I did get some help on both flights from some very nice seat-mates, and so here's a thanks to you two, wherever you are! 

 Us on the way home, just before takeoff.

Hopefully soon I will be able to return to see the rest of my family, which means I'll probably have to go to Dallas. Too bad it's not as nice as Austin ;) I want to take advantage of the free ticket Julian can get before he turns two. 

I also filmed some of my packing and my thoughts about flying with a baby for the first time. I hope that what I learned from this trip can help some other moms later on. Look out for that video coming soon!

Thanks again for reading,

Much Love

Lily

Keepin' it wild

I'm still trying to keep it sexy and wild as a new mom. Is it possible? Yes, if you stay up an hour or two after baby falls asleep...

First off, some people have asked me if I still get dressed up while being a mom. Although I do have days without makeup, wearing sweats, I had those kind of days before. Most days I get dressed and put on some makeup. Julian is good about sitting by himself or napping long enough for me to get all primped. Recently I've been getting even more serious with my makeup and hair, which I've been able to curl several times now.

I have however neglected to do a nice manicure in quite a while. It takes at least an hour for everything to dry nicely and I just don't have that kind of time, except at night! I did these simple, but sexy leopard nails the other night.

I used these micro-pen nailpolishes from Spencer's and a perfect lavender Sally Hansen color from Target. I thought the silver looked pretty classy compared to regular old leopard print.

The Sally color is called "No Hard Feelings" and I really love it. Last time I used it with a dark purple China Glaze to make ombre nails.

My nails aren't half as fun to do now that they're so short. But you really can't wipe butts with long talons... which no matter how cute your polish is, is never sexy.

Is my life boring now?

I'm having a lot of trouble trying to reconcile what's really happening in my life with the kind of fantasy "cool" life that I think I should be having. I completely see how narcissistic the whole thing is: I'm a pretty girl, so obviously I should be having an exciting life, with lots of cool friends, going out frequently, and some glamorous form of income like modeling or blogging. On the other hand, I sometimes think that if I looked like the kind of person that does the things I do, I should be an overweight woman in my 40s who doesn't get dressed up, thinks going out means Country Buffet, and probably hasn't had sex with her husband in over a week (at least). I crochet like a grandma, I'm staying at home with a baby, and I don't have very many friends of my own and the one I do I practically never see. 

    

When I broke up with ex boyfriend, I initially planned on moving to Austin with my dad. I imagined a glamorous downtown student life. Exercising in the park in the morning, taking a couple classes, lunch with my girls, some light afternoon work topped off with a nighttime outing or show. In my mind all my friends were beautiful and life was leisurely yet filled to the brim with fun, "cool" stuff. And of course after a while of this I'd take a vacation and explore the world, meeting even more cool, beautiful people. But I had to remind myself that if that was the life I was meant to live I would already be doing those things. Those opportunities exist here. Changing to Austin wouldn't change who I was. 

Now things are even more complicated (and seemingly more boring) with Julian around. Almost everything I do, he is by my side. That doesn't leave a lot of room for going to the club or traveling. Instead I hang out at home and fill my time with simple crafts like crochet and of course, lots of cleaning. For the most part, I'm not depressed or hating my state of existence doing things this way. In general I'm a happy, content person and I don't resent the kind of life I have right now. I especially don't resent Julian, and I never want to. I guess I'm just having a huge case of "the grass is greener". It's so easy to compare myself to people I see on TV and bloggers online. They're dressed fabulously, they're traveling, they're doing a bunch of stuff they can write about. I guess that's really what it boils down to: I don't have anything interesting to write about or share with people. My life would not make the Bestseller's List. 

Can I change that? Is it even possible now that I have a baby? Is the glamour and sexiness of someone like Dita Von Teese, the travel of someone like my sister, the bad-ass-rockerness of someone like Kat Von D at all compatible with having a baby at 19??? (Yes Leanne you are in there with Dita Von Teese as a super-inspiration to me<3)

I have one person I can look to for these things that I just remembered: Kandee Johnson. She's got four kids (toddler to teen), successfully works for herself, travels regularly, dresses fabulously and has TWO really popular blogs and a Youtube channel. And all while being a single mom! I need to look more to her life that she has built for herself as my inspiration and proof that you can have kids and have a fun life too. I need to channel some of her energy and positivity into my daily routine.

I need to stop comparing myself to other women. Instead I need to just keep working on what makes me the happiest and doing more of those things every day. Even if my life seems boring and even crappy, it doesn't matter as long as I know I'm happy - I don't have to prove that or make excuses to other people.