Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas from us to you! I'm posting this from my new iPhone 5c which is actually the first smartphone I've ever owned.

As you can see from the picture, Julian is not feeling well. He's got a little cold and it's making him pretty fussy today. I'm having a lot of trouble getting him to nap. Let's hope he feels better soon, because...

... tomorrow we're flying to Texas! I'll be there until New Years Eve seeing all of my family. This is already Julian's second time flying. I don't know why more parents don't take advantage of the deals babies get. They fly free until 2, plus strollers and car seats can get checked for free (on most flights). A mom can even bring her diaper bag as an extra carry on item. So who created the myth that families can't travel and have fun? Some of the most fun places were completely designed for kids and families. Anyway, I can't wait. 

Holiday wishes and runny noses, 

Lily and Juju

Things I Love Thursday

I'm getting back into the habit of writing more often and to keep up, here's a little piece of gratitude inspired by the always fabulous Gala Darling. I've been reading her blog for probably two years now and she's a great inspiration for so many reasons.

This week, I'm really loving...

• Dressing up again. I did some shopping yesterday and today I'm channeling Morticia Addams.
• Christmas excitement! Our tree is so little and cute and our hearth it full of presents. 
• Julian fed himself with a spoon this morning!
• All the dorky Christmas crafts I've made at work. Right now there's a pine-cone snow man on the dash of my car. I made him a scarf. 
• Planning my trip to Texas! I'll be there between Christmas and New Year's and Julian is coming with me to meet the rest of our family.
• Christmas shopping. What more is there to say?
• Courtney, who is always a doll about watching Julian and who  has become a good friend <3
• Jackie, who also loves watching Julian and is actually getting him today!

Thanks for sticking around,

Lily

But... I'm Still Cool

 Last night my roommate discovered some old pictures of me on Facebook, specifically, a photoshoot I did when I had a mohawk (WHAT?! Yes, if you didn't know: I had a mohawk, and then I was bald. Let's continue...). They were pretty awesome pictures thanks to a great photographer, and my Dad is lucky enough to have a large copy at his house. But she called me in her room and said, "You used to be so punk!" Of course she didn't mean it in a mean way, because after she said, "Now you're always so elegant," but of course it got me thinking...

 An older shot of my mohawk and my baldness

I never really thought I was that cool anyway. It may not have seemed like it to most people, but I always felt like a weirdo and I definitely embraced it and ran with it. Even when people did give me compliments or whatever I was more often suspicious of their motivations instead of grateful. Like, "Why is this cool person talking to me? Is this a trick?" Carrie had had a big impression on me early in life. 

Now, this is the last picture I found on my computer that's just me; no Julian. It's from July! I look so normal. Normal cut, un-dyed hair, plain makeup, normal clothes... that necklace was a gift from my step-grandma. How... boring! Yeah, I look nice and on most days I still look nice and dress pretty... but it's just so boring and uninspired.

There's no way I'll go back to a huge deathrock mohawk or frilly Decora dresses (I've tried a lot of different styles), but I miss having fun with my clothes and getting to dress up. I don't even blame it on being a mom - I'm just in a creative rut and I have a job that makes me dress pretty conservatively, plus I don't have a lot of opportunities to go all-out. Oh, yeah, and I'm broke.

Wish me luck with the $50 spending money I have left to find something that will kick my ass back into gear. Should it be clothes or green hair dye?

Until next time...
Lily

And now there's 6

Ever since I moved out of my mom's house about a year ago, I've been lamenting the fact that there was no dog around! I've had dogs my whole life and they were a normal part of my everyday routine. For a while that was a good thing, since I had a different kind of small animal to take care of, but now that we're in our own apartment we decided it was time. Legally this is our roommate's dog, since they paid for him and are going to pay his rent, but we all care about him and share taking care of him. Everyone... meet Link! (The dog formerly known as Chico)

 He is a Chihuahua mix that we picked up at the shelter on Monday. There were a few other dogs that we wanted to meet but they got adopted very quickly, plus, they were probably too big to have around Julian. He's just the right size for our apartment, but he's not buggy-eyed or shaky (no offense to Chihuahuas that are like that)

 So far him and Julian are getting along fine. They don't seem too interested in each other most of the time but they aren't fighting either. Link is a serious lover and jumps on anyone's available lap to curl up. If your door is open, he'll jump in bed and snuggle up with you too! He's lazy most of the day but he can be very fast and energetic if you give him the chance and play with him. And damn he can jump high! He's got great balance and can stand and walk on his hind legs for a long time. I'm glad to be around a dog again, even if he's only slightly bigger than my old rat Octo.

Julian will soon be bigger than Link. He's growing so fast; at 7 months old he wears 9 month size clothes and they fit him snuggly. He can army-crawl around the room at a terrifying speed, and yesterday he took two little crawling steps before plopping back on his belly. He grabs anything around him to help pull himself up onto his knees. I can put him on the floor of the living room, go in the kitchen, and he'll actually scootch himself and follow me! It's so cute but scary at the same time. Soon he'll be completely mobile and I'll never be able to let him out of my sight!

 

It's been a pretty warm fall here, which was nice in a way, but today it finally snowed! After living in Colorado for over 10 years now, I've finally began to actually like the snow and I look forward to taking Julian out to play in it.

With Teeth

I saw an old acquaintance from  high school yesterday and we got a chance to talk and catch up. Of course a big part of that was talking about Julian, and I got the usual question, "Is it hard being a mom?" I really haven't found it this way. Julian is so relaxed and does great playing and hanging out by himself, giving me a chance to take care of myself. Even teething, supposedly a very tough time for babies, went smoothly for him.

Yesterday morning Julian woke up with two new teeth. Another top tooth looks like it will pop out soon. Over the past week, he hasn't been screaming and has slept relatively well, despite his tooth pain. He's just been a little grumpier than usual, but that was easily handled just by playing with him more and giving him a little medicine.

I am both proud and scared of how quickly Julian seems to be growing. The other day he actually grabbed onto the coffee table and pulled himself up to a standing position! We both literally screamed. He wobbled for about half a second before taking a little tumble back down. After that incident I had to put some corner bumpers on it :)

I don't have any pictures for this post, but I'll keep my camera out and have something ready for ya'll next time. Thanks for still checking in here even though I stopped writing for a while!

Sorry!

I've had a lot going on the past month or so, so I haven't written anything since September 16th now. In fact, I have barely gotten online at all except to check my email and watch True Blood. But, with all that going on of course I have some exciting new things to share!

We moved in to our new apartment!

I'm not going to put many pictures because there's not much to show. We still don't have a ton of furniture or decorations but that doesn't stop it from feeling like our home. I'm so proud and it's hard to explain the feeling of living on your own for the first time. It's been over two weeks now and there've been no fires, we've eaten many real dinners, and have even thrown a party.

Here's a really unflattering picture of our kitchen - but I just needed something to show and it's probably the most interesting part of our living areas. This was just after our Halloween party, explaining the candy bowls and the mutilated pumpkin. Can you spot the Hello Kitty toaster? It burns her face on your toast... Let's just say my roommates wanted to buy a new one. 

Here's Julian from about 6 months old. He can sit on his own now! And I know he'll be crawling soon, at least before Christmas. He's getting so big and mobile now, it's honestly king of scary.

And he's eating solid foods now! Thank you WIC for giving us a bunch of baby food jars and baby cereal. He LOVES food so much and gets so excited.

Anyway... even my dad has asked why I'm not blogging anymore. I was so surprised when he asked me this! Well this is for you Dad! I really want to get back to writing regularly, especially because Julian is going through so many changes now and we are having a lot of new experiences in our own apartment. Such as our neighbor dropping off a bottle of wine as a housewarming gift... although none of us are over 21! Haha.

Ok, well thanks for still reading after my little hiatus. I really appreciate it! And a special thanks goes out to my Dad to reading and keeping updated on his little G-Son, and to anyone out there who actually doesn't know me in real life but just finds this a little interesting!

Have a great weekend everyone,
Lily

Twenty

Last week I turned twenty years old.

This is an overlooked age, sandwiched between the great 18 and the wildly fun 21 (I didn't mean for those to rhyme, I swear!). But personally, this was a really important birthday for me, and I think it deserves more credit worldwide. So important I actually wanted to have a party for once, but sadly, most of our money was sunk into our new car.

The past year has been a whirlwind and an amazing challenge. So many things happened that I can't do it all justice in one measly blog post, so your might see this subject pop up again. It started just before my 19th birthday when I went on a great Western adventure with my sisters, camping across 6 states. Less than a month after my return I wound up knocked up by a guy I'd been dating for two months (every time I think of this I shudder). I started my first real job and began college. All in all... it was a very busy year.

Arches Nat. Park, Utah. Camping and Hiking with my favorite sisters. A great adventure before I had to settle down.

Now I'm twenty years old.

I'll never be a teenager again. I'm not a teen mom. I'm a young woman who is still facing a lot of challenges but last year was so wonderful I'm not afraid of what might come. I know I've got an angel of a baby and we'll all be alright. My new motto is, "As long as Julian isn't crying, everything is fine." Well, right now he's sound asleep. 

As always, thanks for reading.
G'night,
Lily

Just what's been going on...

I haven't posted in over a week! I can't believe it. It seemed like I was doing pretty good there for a while! Ever since I went back to work, each day has seemed to go by so quickly and before I realize it, it's ends up being three days since I washed my hair. Kind of gross, but supposedly it's better for it anyway. But by working, so many things end up being pushed to the side... I am glad to be back though and so SO thankful that I only have to work part-time.

Besides not writing, I haven't worked on my scarf this whole week. Luckily it is a quick and easy stitch or else it might end up like Julian's Bobble Blanket. Yes, that thing is STILL unfinished. I know, I'm ashamed! The only consolation I have is that he shouldn't even be using blankets right now :(

Besides working, we have been stressed out and our budget stretched thin because of buying a new car in very short notice. Our Marquis started dying and it was not worth any repairs. Now we have a little Hyundai and we've both learned to drive stick shift pretty well. It only stalls once in a while.

I had a cold and now I think Julian has it too, because he just sounds phlegm-y. It doesn't seem to bother him though. Our "sleep camp" is going great right now. He spontaneously began sleeping overnight for the last two nights! Although it's in a bassinet and not his crib, it's still a huuuge accomplishment. I think this weekend, if he continues sleeping well, I'll start transitioning into the crib.

Speaking of the weekend, it's almost my birthday! I turn 20 on Monday. This is an important birthday for me because of everything that has happened this past year. Julian was conceived just over a month before I turned 19. I got my first real job, began college, AND had a baby all this past year! That's a lot and I feel like I need a vacation... but getting a good nights rest will be good enough for now.

Goodnight!
<3

What I Made

Last year I made a scarf that, well... came out pretty horrible. I made it lengthwise so it came out too long and too thin. Plus it was just a plain double crochet throughout and it was really boring. So before fall and winter comes back I'm remaking the scarf, and here it is so far:

 It's about a foot long already. I undid the scarf from last year and am reusing the yarn. This pattern shows off the colors so much better. I can't remember the name of this yarn but it's soft and kind of unraveled.

 Here's the pattern up close. It is a basket-weave stitch that I found from this YouTube video.
It's really simple but creates an interesting pattern. The scarf is turning out very plush and I know it will be cozy and warm for the tough Colorado winters.

In other news, Julian is now able to sit up with only a little help!  He's growing so big and strong at just 4 months old. He can stand too while you only need to hold his arms to help him balance. He hates tummy time but loves standing so I really think he'll be walking before he can crawl!

Well, either way it will happen before we know it. He's so precious right now, chubby and laughing but not really able to do a lot... He's the perfect image of a baby. Julian is just now acting interested in food. He doesn't want to eat it but when I sit him on my lap he tries to grab my plate or bowl. Two weeks ago he grabbed my bowl of oatmeal and completely jammed his hand inside! He ended up covered in oatmeal, it was hilarious. He ate some banana straight off of the one I was eating just the other day! It's so exciting and fascinating to watch all the changes and growth he is going through every day. I love this kid so much!

Well thanks again for reading and keeping up with things, hopefully I will have another video up soon!

Have a great night, goodnight!!
Lily

Sleeping through the night!

So it's been about a week since I wrote about getting Julian back on a sleep schedule. In that time, he's gotten waaay better! There's still some nights he sneaks back into bed with me (crafty little guy) but he's already slept through a whole night. It was only once, but that's a big deal!

Every night he's asleep around 7, except on Mondays where I get home later so he's in bed more around 8. This first chunk is the easiest for him to get through. Then he'll wake up anywhere from 9-11, and I'll feed him and put him back to bed. This is where he sneaks back in bed with me, if he does. If it's past 11 and he's having a difficult time going back to sleep, I just kind of give up. But if I'm already in bed I give him a chance to fall back asleep, as long as he's not actually crying. He's been able to wake up, wiggle around and shout a bit, then put himself back to sleep two or three times now, at least that I was awake to see.

So my goal is to have this down pat by the time he's 5 months old, so I have about 3 more weeks to go. So far it's going pretty well.

For more of Julian's progress and fun we've been having, here's a video from July when he was three months old. Enjoy!




Thanks everyone who's watched my videos and a special thank you to my first subscriber! Yay!

Getting to Sleep

Today (last night, really) I decided that I was going to drop all other goals that I've been working on and focus on just one: getting Julian to sleep through the night. He has done this only ONCE in his own crib, and once in a bassinet.

This last month I've been really lazy about Julian's bedtime routine. During my visit to Austin, I didn't have a separate place to put him to sleep. So, he slept with me. I found out I could nurse him back to sleep without even having to get out of bed or even fully wake up. Yes, cardinal sin of all sins for babies, but for the past month Julian has mostly slept in bed with me, at least part of each night.

But although I'm able to be lazy and stay in bed with him, he also sleeps for shorter periods of time with me. When he was born I was proud that he could sleep for 4 to 6 hours, but now, he barely makes it to the 4 hour mark. He's actually sleeping worse than ever, in my opinion, so I'm going to sacrifice my comfort and sleep that I've gotten used to for the next month to get back into a good routine, and cross your fingers, he'll mostly be sleeping through the night by the time he is 5 months old. (Oh yeah, he just turned 4 months this Tuesday!)

This came to my attention yesterday when I went over the papers sent home from his recent check-up. According to them, he ought to be sleeping through the night more now and I need to reduce nighttime feedings, especially if he's just using my breast as comfort and he's not really hungry (which I'm 100% sure he's dong). 

So I'm going to start out with the Johnson's bedtime approach with their Lavender bedtime soap and lotion. I'll come back in a week and update everyone on how that's going, which is hopefully well. 

Haha, ok, he woke up from his nap (that's another thing we need to work on - longer naps)

Bye!!!

1,000 Views! And my First Videos

First of all, thanks everyone who has been reading my blog. Signing in today I discovered that I have over a thousand views now! I've always tried to blog and haven't been great about keeping up with it, but it's much easier when you see that someone is actually interested. So thanks!!!

In addition to my blog, I have made a couple videos with some tips on how to fly with a baby, thanks to what I learned on my recent trip to Austin. I was really nervous but thought it was a good opportunity for a video. I've got part one and two up now for your viewing pleasure!





I hope these can help someone out... there's a lot of other (better) videos about flying with babies but hopefully my quality will only get better with time.

Keep reading and I should have some more videos here soon!

Lily

More Furniture Shopping!

So like I said in my last post, this past Sunday the four of us soon-to-be-roommates headed on over to American Furniture Warehouse to see what they had.

Julian actually drove us there. He's growing up so fast!

They had some great deals on 3 piece couch sets which we will probably get one or the other...

 

 or...

The first one is a bit softer and... ONE dollar cheaper!

Other than these two couch sets we didn't see a whole bunch that we were really in love with... Just a couple small decorations.



















Everyone tried out these tiny kids recliners... Julian really loved his, probably more than the Poang!

Renato and Jesse got a little romantic in the huge Home Theatre area. 

And how could it be complete with out a giant beanbag? This thing was ridiculously expensive though :(

 We went to Target also to look at their kitchen stuff but I didn't take any pictures. Now we have a rough idea of what we're going to get and from where.
This Friday we're actually going to make a holding deposit so that when an apartment comes up in October we will have first dibs! Hopefully soon you can see some of these things actually being bought :D

Thanks again for reading,

G'night,
Lily

Weekly crafting and a sneak peak...

So in an effort to create more I've decided to focus on one small project a week. This is really important because soon I'll be extremely busy: I just returned to work and in a month the fall semester starts. Last week I made a skillet handle that I found from Tasty Crochet. I never really burned myself but it was a hassle having to find a rag or oven mit in the middle of cooking. Here's mine, I used Lily's Sugar'n Cream which I just had some lying around.

 

It was so easy, and definitely not fancy or very pretty for that matter, but it was a quick and practical thing for me to make. This week I want to work on my bobble blanket, which YES I'm still not finished with. I pretty much gave up on it, but I want to finish what I started. It's such an awesome stitch and the colors I have look so wonderful together. I don't think I have enough yarn for it to be a full sized blanket, which is why I stopped, but at least it can be a large pillow? We'll see... 

Anyway, this past Sunday Renato, Courtney, Jesse and I went to American Furniture Warehouse to check out their furniture and Target to see what they had as well. That'll come later but for now here is a sneak peak.... The folks at AFW aren't too smart... 

Bye!!!

Lily

Moving Out Excitement!

A lot of you may not know, but Renato and I are planning on moving out within a couple months with two friends of ours. Roommates with a baby sounds crazy but like everyone, they love Julian to bits too. In our excitement we went to the amazing Ikea Centennial on Sunday to take a look around and get some ideas. Plus, they'd never been there before!

One of the first things we fell in love with was this Ektorp couch. The apartment we're moving into has a large open-concept living, kitchen and dining area, so we all thought this couch would be great to kind of section it off, without having to get two couches. Plus it comfortable fits all four (five!) of us.

 

Next we thought we really liked this extendable round table. It fit all four of us but then we realized we'd probably need more space because we have friends over a lot. Plus we're moving in before Thanksgiving and Courtney and I are very excited to host it ourselves for the first time! I didn't take a picture of it but there was a way longer rectangular table that you could extend. It could fit at least 8 people, which is kind of stupidly big for our first table but we can use it for school work as well.

 The best part about going to Ikea was putting Julian in all the kids furniture! He looked so cute, even people passing by mentioned it. I would seriously get this teeny mini Poang chair for him, he was so relaxed in it. We sat there for a long time too, and he loved it! My sister got him a Fisher Price rocking chair that he sits in a lot... but sorry sis, this will probably replace it soon!!!
We also sat him in one of the high-chairs in a display kitchen and he loved that too. He was a spoiled baby that day who got carried around most of the day and had a lot of fun :)

I absolutely love going to Ikea, even though I didn't buy anything but food. I guess we're Ikea-rats instead of mall-rats. We were there a ridiculously long time, until closing! We were tired but it was a lot of fun.

Things I Love Thursday

This week has been very different from my usual routine. Monday I got back from Texas and every day I have been doing job applications and interviews. I'm also sleeping differently with Julian - in Texas we slept together and we both slept so well I have been sleeping with him here. Don't worry I don't use a big blanket and keep him safely away from the edge and my pillow. He's also been fussier so maybe it is because of the trip or it is from all the caffeine I've been having. In Texas I drank a bunch and have continued, with about two cups every day. I'm going to cut that out and see if it helps him at all... Hopefully I don't go crazy!

With all those changes in mind, here's what I'm grateful for and loving this week:

• My Dad, Sister and Grandparents in Texas
• Getting replies to my job applications
• Renato for being so great about watching Julian so I can get a job
• The cooler, rainy weather
• Apartment planning, because we're moving out soon!
• Julian not getting sick yet
• All the helpful info that's online
• Bamboo and succulents, because I have no green thumb so my strawberries died, but they're still alive :)
• And Renato (again) for getting me those plants on Mother's Day

And as always I'm thankful to everyone who reads this!

What are you thankful for today???

'Night,

Lily

Julian's First Trip, pt. 1

I just got back from Texas yesterday, and I'm already missing my family and Austin, especially the weather. Surprisingly, the weather here is actually 20 degrees hotter, which is really unusual, but Austin was a nice retreat from the heat. Seeing my family and how much they love Julian warmed my heart and made me so proud. I was able to see him from a very different way since everyone else was playing "Pass the Baby" the whole time. I didn't take a lot of pictures myself but hopefully soon I will be able to get a copy of the 100+ that my sister took!

 This tiny baby had the whole bed to himself for naps, plus he got to share with me at night! 

 When I came back after he woke up, I found that dog knocked off onto the floor.

I was nervous to fly with Julian for our first time, but as always, he was great. On both flights there were other babies crying, but Julian slept almost the entire time. I did get some help on both flights from some very nice seat-mates, and so here's a thanks to you two, wherever you are! 

 Us on the way home, just before takeoff.

Hopefully soon I will be able to return to see the rest of my family, which means I'll probably have to go to Dallas. Too bad it's not as nice as Austin ;) I want to take advantage of the free ticket Julian can get before he turns two. 

I also filmed some of my packing and my thoughts about flying with a baby for the first time. I hope that what I learned from this trip can help some other moms later on. Look out for that video coming soon!

Thanks again for reading,

Much Love

Lily

Keepin' it wild

I'm still trying to keep it sexy and wild as a new mom. Is it possible? Yes, if you stay up an hour or two after baby falls asleep...

First off, some people have asked me if I still get dressed up while being a mom. Although I do have days without makeup, wearing sweats, I had those kind of days before. Most days I get dressed and put on some makeup. Julian is good about sitting by himself or napping long enough for me to get all primped. Recently I've been getting even more serious with my makeup and hair, which I've been able to curl several times now.

I have however neglected to do a nice manicure in quite a while. It takes at least an hour for everything to dry nicely and I just don't have that kind of time, except at night! I did these simple, but sexy leopard nails the other night.

I used these micro-pen nailpolishes from Spencer's and a perfect lavender Sally Hansen color from Target. I thought the silver looked pretty classy compared to regular old leopard print.

The Sally color is called "No Hard Feelings" and I really love it. Last time I used it with a dark purple China Glaze to make ombre nails.

My nails aren't half as fun to do now that they're so short. But you really can't wipe butts with long talons... which no matter how cute your polish is, is never sexy.

Is my life boring now?

I'm having a lot of trouble trying to reconcile what's really happening in my life with the kind of fantasy "cool" life that I think I should be having. I completely see how narcissistic the whole thing is: I'm a pretty girl, so obviously I should be having an exciting life, with lots of cool friends, going out frequently, and some glamorous form of income like modeling or blogging. On the other hand, I sometimes think that if I looked like the kind of person that does the things I do, I should be an overweight woman in my 40s who doesn't get dressed up, thinks going out means Country Buffet, and probably hasn't had sex with her husband in over a week (at least). I crochet like a grandma, I'm staying at home with a baby, and I don't have very many friends of my own and the one I do I practically never see. 

    

When I broke up with ex boyfriend, I initially planned on moving to Austin with my dad. I imagined a glamorous downtown student life. Exercising in the park in the morning, taking a couple classes, lunch with my girls, some light afternoon work topped off with a nighttime outing or show. In my mind all my friends were beautiful and life was leisurely yet filled to the brim with fun, "cool" stuff. And of course after a while of this I'd take a vacation and explore the world, meeting even more cool, beautiful people. But I had to remind myself that if that was the life I was meant to live I would already be doing those things. Those opportunities exist here. Changing to Austin wouldn't change who I was. 

Now things are even more complicated (and seemingly more boring) with Julian around. Almost everything I do, he is by my side. That doesn't leave a lot of room for going to the club or traveling. Instead I hang out at home and fill my time with simple crafts like crochet and of course, lots of cleaning. For the most part, I'm not depressed or hating my state of existence doing things this way. In general I'm a happy, content person and I don't resent the kind of life I have right now. I especially don't resent Julian, and I never want to. I guess I'm just having a huge case of "the grass is greener". It's so easy to compare myself to people I see on TV and bloggers online. They're dressed fabulously, they're traveling, they're doing a bunch of stuff they can write about. I guess that's really what it boils down to: I don't have anything interesting to write about or share with people. My life would not make the Bestseller's List. 

Can I change that? Is it even possible now that I have a baby? Is the glamour and sexiness of someone like Dita Von Teese, the travel of someone like my sister, the bad-ass-rockerness of someone like Kat Von D at all compatible with having a baby at 19??? (Yes Leanne you are in there with Dita Von Teese as a super-inspiration to me<3)

I have one person I can look to for these things that I just remembered: Kandee Johnson. She's got four kids (toddler to teen), successfully works for herself, travels regularly, dresses fabulously and has TWO really popular blogs and a Youtube channel. And all while being a single mom! I need to look more to her life that she has built for herself as my inspiration and proof that you can have kids and have a fun life too. I need to channel some of her energy and positivity into my daily routine.

I need to stop comparing myself to other women. Instead I need to just keep working on what makes me the happiest and doing more of those things every day. Even if my life seems boring and even crappy, it doesn't matter as long as I know I'm happy - I don't have to prove that or make excuses to other people. 

SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

No... sadly they weren't actual shots. These were the less fun kind. Julian got his first round of immunizations yesterday. It was three shots in total. I've never seen anyone turn so red! It looked like he was going to burst. Poor little guy was so mad. He was a champ as usual though and quickly calmed down.

 

No, he's not crying, he's yawning :)

Later that night he was crying harder when he was hungry but other than that he did great. I guess he gets it from me. When I was little I actually would laugh when I got a shot, but now I don't really react at all. I don't know how Renato handled his shots... I'll have to ask.

Before he got his shots, I got a little poke of my own. I got an IUD, which was pretty uncomfortable. I'm still sore. It's weird that the pain is actually focused more in my hip socket and not in my abdomen anymore.

So now Julian is protected from a slew of horrible diseases, and I'm protected from having another little Julian!

Home with the Kids

Throughout my entire pregnancy, I had always planned to return to work part-time after a two or three month break. During this time I would relax, take care of Julian, and the usual new-mom stuff. On April 1st, just two weeks before he was born, I left work. Now two months have passed since he was born and Renato and I have decided that I will not go back to work.

He was actually the one to bring it up to me. About two weeks ago, there was one day where I only got about three hours of sleep and it really kicked my ass. I felt terrible the entire day, and I guess how I was acting freaked him out a bit, because the next day he suggested I continue to stay home.

It was honestly a relief. I can't imagine going to work right now, even for part time. Renato's mom recently went back to work, and even before that she rarely wanted to babysit. He works nights and sleeps during the part of the day where I would probably be working. Julian still isn't sleeping through the night and barely gives me time to get ready each day. So going to work would be really tough, and I'm grateful that he brought it up so I didn't have to! 

I've settled into a nice routine the past couple of weeks, finally. With Renato's mom working, I've been taking care of his little brother Diego as well. He just finished 3rd grade and started summer break, so it's even more important that I'm home so I can watch him as well as Julian. I like the slow pace of my days staying at home, and I've got a decent amount of room to do my own thing. It's not all cooking and cleaning, luckily. But it's also not the cute fantasy I sometimes had of wearing adorable aprons and baking cupcakes all day (although I do have a Minnie Mouse apron... so I don't see why I'm not doing those things!!!)

Honestly I've wanted to be a stay at home mom for a couple years now. I never thought it would happen this soon - I imagined this way later, in my late twenties or early thirties. I really like the idea of homeschooling (at least the early years), even though my own attempt at it completely failed. And Renato and I have talked a lot about the choice between money or time together. We both agreed that we'd rather make less money with part-time jobs, but have more time together, than make more money with full time jobs and have less time together.

He just got a promotion and raise, so me being out of work isn't making a big dent in our finances. In my last job I made just about as much as his raise has added. But I do want to try and sell some stuff on Etsy to make a little extra cash. I sold a couple things a few years ago and it went well, I just didn't work very hard at it. Maybe this time, since I've got a bit more motivation, it can actually grow into a regular little business.Stay tuned, hopefully by this week I'll have something up for sale!!!

Back online... and I hate it!

Ok, so hate is a strong word. BUT I do really dislike a lot of the habits that I've created online. Last Friday, Renato's brother ordered internet service. I don't notice a huge change in how we interact with each other, but I do notice myself every time I am wastefully surfing the web.

One of the biggest things I changed online was that I deleted about 100 people off of my Facebook almost the first day of being back. I didn't talk to these people, I hardly knew these people, and in some cases I didn't even like these people! It was ridiculous. There's still people I could delete but even that is a waste of time for me. I'm probably just going to use it to share news and pictures about Julian for now on anyway. I also really want to delete my Twitter, tumblr... there's accounts out there that I barely remember creating, and only a rare email from them will remind me.

I really want to focus on the good things on the internet. When I'm breastfeeding Julian at night, it gets pretty boring. That's when I watch a lot of Youtube. I try and stay with educational videos, with stuff like hair and nail tutorials. I've also gotten back into raw food and have discovered Megan Elizabeth and Kristina. I love their videos and their energy! It's inspired me to seriously up my fruit and veggie intake. I've probably eaten as many fruits and veggies in the last two days as I normally would in a whole month!!! It's tough when I'm not doing a lot of the grocery shopping, but I really want to change, and I need to so that Julian can get the best nutrition possible as well.

I also want to write on here as much as possible, and really bring something positive if I can. Like this post: I want you to question how you use the internet too. Just like the guy I mentioned in my last post, I realized that the internet isn't to blame for our bad habits. I ended up watching a lot of crappy daytime TV without the internet (like TMZ - eww!!) I'm glad I didn't have real cable or else it would have been even worse. We need to take responsibility for all of our actions. Those online can sometimes be abstract, because we're not really "doing" anything, so it's easy for those actions to seem out of our hands or not our responsibility. But if you're lazy, you'll be lazy with or without the internet. There's just a lot of useless crap out here that can easily distract even the most driven and motivated person and turn them into someone who seems lazy. Now I'm always asking myself, "What else could I be doing?" If it's something I enjoy more, something that needs to get done, or just something more productive then I get up and do it.

There's a lot of great stuff out there on the web. Instead of watching stupid cat videos, watch a TED Talk or something educational. Instead of reading everybody's drama on Facebook, find an interesting article or blog to read. Download some eBooks, learn a new skill, or better yet, just get off every now and then and do something, ANYTHING else. 

Offline for almost a month...

I read about a man who went offline for a whole year in order to find out what the internet had "done" to him, following the hypothesis that the internet is a negative factor in people's lives. What was interesting was that he discovered he was just as messed up, if not more, without the internet. For the first several months he was more productive and even lost weight, but soon he turned to other destructive habits like not leaving the house and playing too many video games. He was just as antisocial, wrote less, and in the end found that his life was actually better with the internet, because as he says, that's where the people are. 

We haven't had internet here at the house, or cable, for over a month now. I just gave my phone to my brother because I don't have the money (or desire) to pay for it anymore. So we're all a little cut off, and me especially. But I'm still able to use the internet a couple of times a week at a coffee shop or friend's house (like right now). Unlike this guy, I think that we're all doing a lot better off without the internet. But like I said, I still use it, I just have to leave the house. I think this is a better "middle path" than cutting yourself off completely. Diego isn't glued to his DS watching mind-melting Spongebob all day (instead watching better PBS type cartoons), I've finished two books this week, and in general we're all spending more time together going out and playing games here at home. I couldn't NOT have the internet, if only just for my online class, which I'll be taking 3 more of in the fall. Going out for the internet makes me have to choose what is really the most important. I have a time limit, because of Julian, so I don't want to be gone for more than two hours. It's enough to check my emails, download a few articles to read later on Evernote, and download my classwork for the week. If I've got extra time I update Facebook with a couple pictures or post something to my blog. I haven't watched a single Youtube video since this has started. That was my biggest time waster. I would sit for hours watching hair and makeup tutorials or mommy vlogs, especially when I was eating. It's the biggest thing I'm jonesing for but also the best thing for me to get rid of. 

Plus, going out for internet has some other perks. I have an excuse to get some Starbucks, which I always enjoy ;) Also I just get out of the house which is especially important after having a baby so I don't become a shut-in. We're also clearly saving money by not paying for internet at home, but that's probably outbalanced by the frappuccinos... oops!

One More Week

Getting ready in style for my baby boy J.

Today I officially hit 39 weeks! I can't believe this day has come. Looking back, every day seemed a million years from this point. And in reality, there's practically a million more! I could go all the way to 42 weeks... but I really, really don't want to!

So last night around 1 AM I gave myself this great baby manicure. I hope it will still be here when he arrives (so don't be late, Julian!) My nails had grown insanely long and I was scratching myself and Renato all the time, so they had to go so I don't hurt my little one.

They started out simple but quickly spiraled out of control. I guess they're better for a baby shower (that's what I Googled anyway for some ideas), but I think having cute nails for my delivery will give me a little motivation, or at least be something to distract me.

The color is off here, but the image is a little sharper... 

I was worried about completely butchering the design on my right hand, but it came out surprisingly well! Practice makes perfect ;)

Now I just need a pedicure to match... sadly we're totally broke and my fiancee is too manly to paint my toes for me. (In case you didn't know... Most pregnant women can't see their feet let alone put socks on without help. Painting my toes would be a nightmare).

Everything is coming together for Julian. I'm so ready to meet this little guy! We finally set up our crib. Seeing it brought me to another level of "Whoa, this is real". We're sharing our room with the baby so our "nursery" is really just one wall of the room, but does a 7 pound baby really need an entire room for itself? He can't even lift his own head. I want to co-sleep as much as I can anyway, so we got the "By Your Side Sleeper" at Target, which is basically a little basket to protect the baby while he's in bed with you.

Julian's "nursery". We kept it to just the basics: a dresser for all his little things (and to change him), a crib, plus a comfy chair just out of frame. We didn't get a swing or any of that extra stuff. There's my diaper bag and Boppy in the crib ready to take to the hospital.

Although I'm excited to meet this guy, of course, I also have my moments of being scared. Right now I don't really feel that way about delivery though. I think I'm starting to get more anxious about all the time after he'll be born. I've never had a baby in my life before, so this is going to be new for me in a thousand ways. Renato had his little brother when he was 10 and so he can remember a lot about him growing up. I've never fed, changed, or bathed a baby. I've probably only held 2 or 3 in my whole life! 

Giving birth will be over and done with in a day. Billions of women have done it and survived. But actually raising a baby to grow up and be a good person? A lot of people have failed at that.

Well that's kind of a downer to end this on, so sorry about that! Being negative about this baby is the last thing I want to do, because then I'm just setting myself up for failure. We're both so happy to be having him, and everyone in both of our families are too. We turned out OK despite not having perfect parents and I'm sure Julian will only get the best from both of us (so he'll be incredibly handsome, of course!) 

Let's all hope I'm in labor by next Tuesday, 

Lily

Baby Julian's First Car!

FYI Julian is the name we're going with for our baby :D
We haven't decided on a middle name though, although we want it to be something with an "R". 

Our new Grand Marquis! Isn't it marvelous? 

Renato and I got a new car last Tuesday! It all fell together perfectly. We had to get a new car for Julian, because our old one did not have backseats. So, with only two weeks left before my due date, Renato posted Monday afternoon on Craigslist to sell the CRX (the car we had). It is seriously a popular car because he got a text message almost instantly, and had dozens more throughout the night. But one in particular really caught our eye.  Renato had mentioned we were selling because we needed a family car. And someone offered a trade for just that!

We went to see the car that night. It was dark so we didn't get a great look, but we were able to drive it and it didn't have any obvious problems. It was a fast decision, but it's a week later and we do not regret it. We made the trade Tuesday afternoon. The guy seemed a little sketchy at first, but he offered to buy some more stuff for the car to make sure it was ready for us and turned out to be a nice guy. So the CRX is with him now. It's his hobby to fix up cars and resell or trade them. Hopefully he can fix it up like we always wanted to :(

Our first baby, the CRX. We'll miss you!

There was a couple problems starting the Grand Marquis after we got it home. We bought a new battery for it after seeing a mechanic, but in two more days that one was dead too. Saturday we tested it at Autozone and it turned out we needed a new voltage regulator. The guy we traded with had let the car run with the battery disconnected, and we found out that can cause a lot of damage. So don't let anyone ever do that! There are better ways to check the alternator. (like a meter made specifically for checking the alternator, duh!!! Just go to Autozone, they check a bunch of stuff for completely free)

So the rest of the weekend and today was spent fixing, cleaning and getting the car street legal.

Almost 39 weeks pregnant and I can still work on a car :)

At the emissions testing center. It passed! 

This car is huge and the complete opposite of what the CRX was. It is a big adjustment (and frankly pretty scary!) to drive this yacht. But we've grown to really love it this past week <3 If we keep it long enough though, we might just paint it yellow in memory of our first car, the CRX (and add giant chrome rims, of course. It's just that kind of car)

Dedicated to all the "First Cars" out there, 

Lily